I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
