I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
