wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
