Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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