dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
