dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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