sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
