It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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