batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
