sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
