i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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