Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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