Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
