im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
