If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
