this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
