do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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