Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize