dude i'm inner monologue high
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
