You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
