i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
