Jerry, you need to find god
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
