they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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