just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
