What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
