I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
