I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
