I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
