All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
