dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
