I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
