Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
