dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
