BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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