I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
