careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
