hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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