So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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