You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
