Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
