I can tuck mytits in my pants
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
tell me about the eggs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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