I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
