Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
im holly from the hills drunk
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
