She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
