That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
