i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
