tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize