you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There are leaves in my underwear?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
