You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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