My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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