you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
