Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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