Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
