I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
