Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
