Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
