So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
