Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
