she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
