I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i drank out of a bidet.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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