It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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