Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish they made helmets for livers.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm always down for nudity.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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