it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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