After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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